Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Past lives (or just my rambling)

Do I believe in past lives and all that mumbo-jumbo? Sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes the answer is NO. The NO answer comes in times when I don't believe in anything. When it comes to religion I'm a 'funky plant' according to my friend. In high school during my Catechism classes (they are mandatory in elementary schools-8 years, and in high schools you can choose between Catechism and Ethics-4 years) I often got in trouble and got sent out of classroom because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and stay quiet. Our teacher often wanted to hear our opinions, beliefs and views on any subject. Well, my views, beliefs and opinions weren't what she wanted to hear in 70% of times. I'm Christian. I was raised in Christian faith and I received all the sacraments that a person should receive in this part of my life. I believe in God, Jesus and Holy Spirit but I don't believe in Church as institution. Why? Well a lot of things that I saw and heard led me to stop believe in Church.

But let me go back to my original subject...

Sometimes I have this feeling that I was a bad person or that I did something wrong in my past lives and that that is a reason why all these bad things happen to me in this life. I read somewhere where a girl explained to herself that all the bad things that are happening to her is because she was Eva Braun in her past life. Why Eva I don't know. But I do know that it got stuck with me for some reason.

A big part of me calms down only when I'm listening country music. Someone who once was very dear to me told me that I have a real american soul. I asked him why and he told me that I am the only girl that he knows that listens country music as much as I do. Who watch american football and is a big fan when in Croatia soccer is a national pride and joy but I can't stand it. That on my board above my bed there is american flag and not Croatian, and that list could go on and on.
my pride and joy :)
For some reason I don't feel the connection with a country that I was born and raised as much as I feel that pull and sense of home like I feel for USA. Don't get me wrong I love my country but I'm in love with States, a land I dream calling my home. Best example is while listening to national anthems of these two countries. While I listen Croatian I'm respectful. But when I hear 'The Star-Spangled Banner' I feel pride, peace, respect, butterflies in my belly, sense of belonging, a call home and I got goosebumps all over my skin.


I have a feeling that I was born in wrong country on wrong continent. And I hope that in my next life the person who is responsible for  soul distribution would do his or hers job right and send mine somewhere where I would be whole with a feeling of belonging and that I'm home.

And I also hope that in next life I wont get people in my life that makes me feel regretful that murdering is illegal. But on the shiny side because of them I'm finishing my PhD on University of Sarcasm.

Hope that my rambling made sense to you guys and that I'm not the only one who feels like this.

XOXO
Love ya all,
Me =)

2 comments:

  1. I will definitely think about this. Must discover what was I in my past life cuz I never felt disconnected in any way with my self or my life here :)

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    1. I don't think that we can discover that, bcs we can't go back in time (tho' I really wish that time traveling is an option in some cases and I know that you know what I'm talking about ;) ). but we can think about it some times and try to get some answers to questions that we all have...

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