Past lives (or just my rambling)

Do I believe in past lives and all that mumbo-jumbo? Sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes the answer is NO. The NO answer comes in times when I don't believe in anything. When it comes to religion I'm a 'funky plant' according to my friend. In high school during my Catechism classes (they are mandatory in elementary schools-8 years, and in high schools you can choose between Catechism and Ethics-4 years) I often got in trouble and got sent out of classroom because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and stay quiet. Our teacher often wanted to hear our opinions, beliefs and views on any subject. Well, my views, beliefs and opinions weren't what she wanted to hear in 70% of times. I'm Christian. I was raised in Christian faith and I received all the sacraments that a person should receive in this part of my life. I believe in God, Jesus and Holy Spirit but I don't believe in Church as institution. Why? Well a lot of things that I saw and heard led me to stop believe in Church.

But let me go back to my original subject...

Sometimes I have this feeling that I was a bad person or that I did something wrong in my past lives and that that is a reason why all these bad things happen to me in this life. I read somewhere where a girl explained to herself that all the bad things that are happening to her is because she was Eva Braun in her past life. Why Eva I don't know. But I do know that it got stuck with me for some reason.

A big part of me calms down only when I'm listening country music. Someone who once was very dear to me told me that I have a real american soul. I asked him why and he told me that I am the only girl that he knows that listens country music as much as I do. Who watch american football and is a big fan when in Croatia soccer is a national pride and joy but I can't stand it. That on my board above my bed there is american flag and not Croatian, and that list could go on and on.

my pride and joy :)

For some reason I don't feel the connection with a country that I was born and raised as much as I feel that pull and sense of home like I feel for USA. Don't get me wrong I love my country but I'm in love with States, a land I dream calling my home. Best example is while listening to national anthems of these two countries. While I listen Croatian I'm respectful. But when I hear 'The Star-Spangled Banner' I feel pride, peace, respect, butterflies in my belly, sense of belonging, a call home and I got goosebumps all over my skin.

I have a feeling that I was born in wrong country on wrong continent. And I hope that in my next life the person who is responsible for  soul distribution would do his or hers job right and send mine somewhere where I would be whole with a feeling of belonging and that I'm home.

And I also hope that in next life I wont get people in my life that makes me feel regretful that murdering is illegal. But on the shiny side because of them I'm finishing my PhD on University of Sarcasm.

Hope that my rambling made sense to you guys and that I'm not the only one who feels like this.

XOXO

Love ya all,

Me =)

The other woman...

I was never the other woman (or TOW) and I'm NEVER going to be. I know, I know... Never say never. But in this case NEVER is NEVER. I can understand that there is a situations where you don't know that a guy that you are seeing is in a relationship or married with someone else. What I'll never understand is when a woman knows that that guy IS in relationship with another woman or worse IS married and have wife and children and she still wants to be with him.

Like I said I was never TOW but I was in relationship that ended with TOW in equation. In my parents marriage there was countless TOWs and I couldn't understand why my mother tolerated my fathers affairs for so long before she ended it when I was almost 19. Her answer is that she stayed in that marriage for us (my sisters and me), but that she couldn't take it any longer and we were old enough to understand. For me that is not a reason to stay with someone who cheats and humiliates you over and over again.

How can that woman look herself in mirror and not be ashamed and guilty for what she is doing to that woman who don't knows that her boyfriend or husband cheats on her? How can she be OK knowing that she is destroying a family?

I know that it's not just her fault and that it takes two for tango (or something like that) but still. She knows what she's doing and she is OK with that.

My motto is: 'If you can't be faithful and loyal to the person that you are in relationship with or are married to than end that relationship or marriage no matter how hard it is and be with the one that you want to be with.' It's better to end something and start with someone new than to be a cheater. Well, it is for me. I could cheat and I knew that nobody would ever knew but I didn't because that is not me and I loved my fiance. But he had other planes and it's a whole another story.

I knew a girl who had no problem with being TOW but she had a problem when her boyfriend cheated on her. How can you be so hypocritical?

What do you guys think? If you cheated will you have a problem to be cheated? Were you TOW and why (if you don't mind me asking)?

P.S, Yesterday I found out that The Other Woman from my relationship with my ex fiancé married my ex and I'm ok with that. Birds of a feather flock together.

That's all from me on this topic =)

What I look for in a guy...

A guy who...

...tilt your chin up before he kiss you
...don't act differently around his friends
...tell you that he like you
...whisper in your ear
...smell good
...let you run into his arms when you're scared
...makes you laugh when you're crying
...plays video games with you

...smile at you for no reason
...take you by surprise
...kiss you in the rain

...tell you cheesy jokes
...bite his lip :)

...give you his coat when it's cold
...hold your hand without asking

...say sweet things between kisses
...give you kisses on the cheek
...will take a long walk with you
...is protective over you
...is your best friend

...grab you by your waist
...isn't ashamed to cry
...take pictures with you
...surprise-hug you
...can make you laugh without even trying
...hug you back tighter
...pull you back for another kiss
...is creative
...hold when you cry
...whisper to you during a hug
...say 'I Love You' and mean it
...bite your lip when you kiss

...change his shirt in front of you
...kiss your forehead

...tell you you're beautiful out of the blue
...pick you up when he hug you

...have tickle fights with you
...fall asleep on your shoulder
...smile after he kiss you
...have a six pack ;)

...is silly
...is taller then you
...isn't afraid to take silly pictures with you
...is good with kids
...don't blow off planes with you
...have good sense of style

...is honest and faithful
...takes you to or makes romantic dinner just for you two 

...now and then surprise you with a flower or chocolate

...plan a perfect date by himself
...makes you to fall in love in him over and over again

...treasure you and your love

...surprise you with a love letter

...makes you feel sexy even when you don't

...has a tattoo (or not)

and I think that every girl/woman need a boy/man just like this: 

Felt inspired by: http://www.polyvore.com/my_perfect_boy_what_look/collection?.embedder=3947013&.svc=pinterest&id=2252484 and a couple of my own...

Billy Currington - Must Be Doin' Something Right ;)