Catching up

wow...

Long time no write =)

Since it would be almost a month from my last post (don't count the one with sexy men list) I felt a need to catch up with you about what's happened in my life since then.

So, let's start.

In these past month I had a good days, great days and days when I felt the need to scream bloody murder or cry my eyes out. I kicked out of my life a couple of people that I lost trust in and I can't say that I'm sad about it. I dealt with stupid people that have nothing better to do with their lives than to mess with mine.

Couple of months ago I started to put my trust in someone and thought that with a little time maybe there could be something worth putting my heart into. I knew him for a long time, really long time and we kind of got in something that had a potential to maybe be something more one day but... There's always that BUT no matter how hard you fight to avoid it.

In April or May (don't remember exactly when) he moved from here to London for work and I was really happy for him because that job is a huge opportunity for him and his career. He came to Zagreb when he could and we talked almost every day via WhatsApp, e-mails, Skype and phone calls. I knew he wanted something more than I could give him and I told him that if he find someone over there that I'm really cool with that and just to let me know about it and I'll be always there for him because he was with me when I had a rough time in the beginning of this year and I love and respect him as a good friend.

He told me that he'll wait for me and give me time to sort my demons and be ready to be with someone in a committed relationship. But (here comes that famous but) one day I was talking with him and he accidentally spilled in our conversation that there's someone that he kind of dates for a month and a half (the catch is that in that time he was in Zagreb for a long weekend with me). I got really mad not because he met someone but because he didn't told me about her when that was the only thing that I asked.

I told him that I need time to stop being mad at him and to let me cool my jets. He didn't let me have my time. He called me every day after I got off work and talked with me. Couple days later he told me that he ended with her because she told him to stop talking with me and end our friendship. We both don't deal good with ultimatums. Week or so later he put one of those on me. To be officially with him because he loves me and he ended whatever he had with that girl and he don't want to wait for me anymore or...

I hung up and we didn't talk anymore since then. He told his sister (she is my friend) that he don 't know how to fix things with me but he doesn't want to call me because he's scared that I won't talk with him. I put that whole situation on the sideline and wait for him to decide what he wants. Because I no longer trust him to be with him but I still don't want to lose him as a friend and he knows that.

Work is good and I hope it'll stay that way and only get better. There are days when I just want to do everything on my list and go home as soon as possible but then there's days when I don't want to go home. I have amazing boss and I'm so happy to have that good man as a boss. What will be awesome is to have another girl in the office closer to my age. Right now it's me and two boys younger then me and our boss when he's in Zagreb. Boys are cool and everything but they are boys and sometimes I feel like I'm their mother. But I can't complain, I had much worse and this is a fairy tale in comparison with my last job.

I learned couple of new life lessons and realized that everything happens with a great reason and someday Karma will sort everything out. I'm happy with how my life is right now. I catch myself daydreaming but if it's meant to be it'll happen on their own time, no need for me to rush it. I'm a little nostalgic at the time but I'm blaming it on hormones (aunt Flow's in town, I know TMI, but I don't care) and I'm sticking with my story. And I'm enjoying knowing that there's noting wrong with being who I am, because there's people who finds my version of me a whole lot attractive. HA!!! Suck it, jerk!!!

LOL

well, I hope that you guys are happy, healthy and in love. it doesn't have to be with someone. right now i'm in love with a bag that i found in store (just waitin' for paycheck next month and it's goin' to be love story), i'm in love with a great song that i listen  every day in the office and i'm in love with life.

Also, today my BF celebrates her 25th B-day so shout out to my bestie (she has her own beauty blog, here's a link: sura-dance and make up lover (it's on croatian)). Happy B-day, doll. Love ya!!!

XOXO,

Love,

Anna

Top Sexiest Men ;)

Descriptions aren't necessary, right? Just enjoy... 

Chris Evans

Chris Pine

Jason Statham

Bradley Cooper

Liam Hemsworth

Chris Hemsworth 

Jamie Dornan

Jai Courtney

Charlie Hunnam

Theo James

Chris Pratt

Tom Hardy

Robert Downey Jr.

Colin Kaepernick

Adam Lavine

Channing Tatum

Matt Bomer

Sam Hunt

Tim McGraw

Luke Bryan

Matt Shadows

David Beckham

Nick Bateman 

XOXO
A

Wish do come true...

... for those who wish hard enough and never stops believing and hoping.

So I have an huge and exciting news (well at least for me it is).

So today is Sep 12th, and three days ago I went to an job interview thinking that I'm going to end up disappointed once more but boy was I wrong. They offered me a job position in British company that have office in Zagreb. Immediately I accepted and signed contract with them. I still can't believe it and it took me a while to just come back to now and realize that everything is going to change in my life and for a good. And I couldn't be happier than I am right now.

I'm going back to college and going to get that degree if it's a last thing that I'll do. I'm going to show people that I can do much more than they thought but I'm going to work hard and study hard so that at the end of the day I can be proud of myself.

Expectations are high and I know that it's not going to be easy but everything else that comes with it is what makes everything else worth it.

Today is Saturday and my first day is on Monday so I'm going to stop writing now and come back and finish this blog post on next Saturday (Sep 19th) with my first week on this amazing opportunity that I got and I'm thankful for it.

I know that this adventure in front of me will be a bumpy and not all sunshine and rainbows but I'm
going to work hard and be the person that I know that I can be and deep down I am.

Sat, Sep 12th 2015

So my first week is behind me and I'm really excited about future with this job. I work in a office with a two guys and boss when he is in Croatia. We are going to get one new employee soon so it's going to be very interesting. Office is amazing with a balcony and a beautiful view. My two colleagues are cool and there's always laughter no matter of the amount of work that we have in front of us.

Company is still establishing the Zagreb office so there is a lot of work to do. And the guy that worked there was a special kind of people that left only disaster and catastrophe behind him. Prick!!! This whole week I had to pick up pieces and fix things that he screw up big time.

But I'm not complaining and I'm definitely looking forward to new experiences and new adventures that are in front of me.

Lots of love,

Anna

To You...

...whoever you are. I dreamed of you last night for the first time. I dreamed of our first meeting. The first time when our eyes met, and a huge smile was spread across your face. The same identical smile that were on my face. I don't know your name. I don't know who you are, where you live or what you do. I don't know what do you love and what you don't love. But somehow I know that one day when I meet you I'm going to fall in love with you with my whole heart and soul. And every crack that exist today and is possible to see on my heart would vanish and my heart would be whole again.

I hope that when it happens that I will know how to show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I can promise you right now even when I don't know you that I'll do everything that I possibly could to never hurt you the way that I was hurt. I can promise you that I'll never hurt you intentionally but if I hurt you in any way,  please know that it was accidentally and that I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart.

My dream last night was a first good dream in a long time for me. And to know that I dreamed you was a icing on the cake for me. My alarm clock woke me up because I needed to go to work (oh, yeah, more about that in my next post on Saturday) and I was really sad that my dream and our first meeting was over. Some little part of me is hoping that tonight when I go to bed and fall a sleep I'll meet you again. I know that that is not how things are working but a girl can hope, right?

This post is not long, but I'm OK with that because the things that I need to say to you are for me to know now and for you to find out when I meet you one day.

I'm looking forward to meet you one day and to love you for who I am when I'm with you.

To you my mystery man... 

Rambling VOL. 2

NOTE: This post was written on Sep. 3rd, but unfortunately I didn't get to post it because of family emergency. Today I'm posting it because one special and very dear person told to live my life like there's no tomorrow and that I can't close myself off just because it hurts to watch someone I love is in hospital and prognosis are not good.

Hi...

Yesterday was my queen mother's 57th birthday (pls, don't tell her that I wrote the actual number or she's going to... I don't know, but I do know that it's not going to end well for me); so dear mom, happy belated birthday!!!!!! Love you to the moon and back and thank you for being the best mom a daughter can wish for.

So about the rambling part...

Well, yesterday (it's totally coincidental or not - who cares) I was talking to one of my friends, shock I know. =) We were talking about relationship and that stuff when she asked me: "Do you wanna be in a relationship? Would you ever want to get engaged and married again? And do you honestly think that you learned everything from past mistakes?". In that moment I actually didn't know what to say. How to answer those last two questions?

I thought about them and that whole conversation that I had with her when I got home. And I still didn't know what to say. So, I logged on my laptop and went to Pinterest because somehow browsing through all kinds of stuff I think the best. And even this time I was able to find my answers to all three questions.

Question #1. Do you want to be in a relationship?

• Yes, I do. I want to be in a healthy relationship with a person that will make me smile and feel appreciated. Someone with whom I could talk for hours and still have something to say. Someone who will hold my hand when I'm scared. Someone who will look past my defects ( and trust me I have them and I'm aware of them ) and love me for who I am not for who they want me to be. I want to be in a relationship but I am not desperate for one. When it happens it happens. I don't wanna push it or rush it. When the time would be right I'll know and then I will be in a relationship,

Question #2. Would you ever want to get engaged and married again?

• Yes. For a long time for me a marriage was just a piece of paper that to some people doesn't mean a thing and I didn't want to be a part of that masquerade. Today I believe that if you find that one person who completes you in every aspect. Who causes your heart to skip. The person who when you think about him, you smile without a cause. When he kisses you, you feel butterflies every single time. Who is your everything that you prayed for and more. A person that makes you cry only happy tears and is there for you in good and in bad. Even when your PMS comes in town and takes a residence he still loves you. Then and only then would I think about getting married again.

Question #3. And do you honestly think that you learned everything from past mistakes?

• I still don't know if I learned absolutely everything. But I did learn a whole lot of something. I learned to listen my instinct even when I try to fool myself that I'm imagining things. I learn to never change myself for anybody other then myself. To never let go of friends because he doesn't like them. To be yourself no matter what and be true to myself. To respect but also seek respect in return. To tell what's on my mind even when the time is just not right. And a lots of other things but I still feel that I have things to learn. 

I love reading books and right now I'm all in romance (don't judge). Couple months ago I finished reading "Finding my prince Charming" trilogy by J.S. Cooper and find these perfect quote by main female character in the books. I wrote it down in my journal that I wrote in every day for a year as my "new year" resolutions (you can read about that in my "New year in front of me" post). Anyway, I was bored one day so I found a picture and with little help from photoshop I combined picture with the quote and I'm going to share it with you ( Hope, you'll like it. ). It's nothing extra special but since I'm total anti talent for anything with photoshop I'm proud of it.

Also, she asked me did I finally let go of my anger. The answer to that is still NO. I don't know how to after all this time. In the beginnings I was to hurt to be angry and then I just shut myself down and any emotion that I had was pushed in a box deep deep down and I never got to the part where you are angry and pissed and want to kick someone (be real, not someone but you-know-who) so that he sing really high notes and hurt just a little like you.

So I'm asking you guys, can you give me some advice how to get rid of that anger and finally let it go and open myself for new beginnings.

That's all from me for today. Thank you for reading.

XOXO

Lots of love,

Me

TMI TAG 50 Questions

Hi,

so I decided to find a TAG questions to answer and stumbled upon these. I hope that by answering these questions you guys can get to know me a little bit better. 

So, lets start...

1. What are you wearing?

• black sleeveless see through shirt with white "LOVE" caption by H&M
• olive green shorts with pockets by Terranova
• black flip flops by Sweet Years

2. Ever been in love?

• Yes. Unconditionally with my whole heart. 

3. Ever had a terrible breakup?

• Oh, yes. It took me a while to get over it. Till these day I still feel little side effects of it.

4. How tall are you?

• I'm 173 centimeters or 5'7".

5. How much do you weigh?

• Hahahahaha. Funny, not. :) I weight 62,5 kilograms or 137 pounds.

6. Any tattoos?

• Not yet, but hopefully pretty soon. I have three in plan.

7. Any piercings?

• Besides my ears that I got pierced when I was two, no. 

8. OTP?

• Well, I love Jesse Kingston  and  Luciana Antonia Russo Kingston from Rockstar series by Anne Mercier. They're perfect imperfect couple if you ask me. Fell in love with them with the first page.

9. Favorite show?

• Wow, this could take me a while to answer since I watch so many shows. Lets see... NCIS, Bones, Last man standing, The Big Bang Theory, Criminal minds, Scandal, 2 Brooke girls, Rizzoli & Isles, etc. But my all time favorite is Mentalist and I'm sad that that show is over and I still love me some Patrick Jane ;)

10. Favorite band?

• Since I'm a music junkie it's a long list. But I'll try to put my top fave bands that I have on every playlist. Daughtry, Guns N' Roses, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Maroon 5, The Script and Zac Brown Band.

11. Something you miss?

• My friend Ida. She died last year and I still can't believe that she's gone. Other than her, I miss my trust in people.

12. Favorite song?

• OMG, there's a endless list of songs that I can say are my favorite song. Most of the time it depends on my mood in that moment, but my all time, number one fave sons is "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses.

13. How old are you?

• I'm 26.

14. Zodiac sign?

• Taurus :)

15. Quality you look for in a partner?

• Humor, honesty and faithfulness are three must haves. If you can't make me laugh and you can't be honest all the time no matter what the issue is or you can't be faithful in relationship than we have nothing to talk about any more. 

16. Favorite quote?

• "The only easy day was yesterday." - motto by US Navy SEALs

and a very recent one that I love, love, love:

• "Sarcasm is my friend, I embrace her with love." - Lucy Russo, Falling Down by Anne Mercier

17. Favorite actor?

• Robert Downey Jr. 

18. Favorite color?

• All kinds of blue. Every shade that exist. Fave fave is navy blue.

19. Loud music or soft?

• Depends of my mood and what I'm doing. If I'm relaxed and in my zen mode than soft. If my on brink of blowing off than the louder the better.

20. Where do you go when you're sad?

• In my little corner in my room where I shut myself down inside me and listen music and try to work it out if I can without tears. Most of the time I let myself cry everything out and than I'm back in the game.

21. How long does it take you to shower?

• If I don't wash my hear or shave max 5 minutes. Otherwise it's 20 to 25 minutes.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

• It can take me from 15 to 40 minutes. Depends on what I'm get ready for. 

23. Ever been in a physical fight?

• Nope :) 

24. Turn on?

• Physically: blue eyes, smile, a man who takes care of himself.
• Mentally: humor and man who knows what he wants and how to take it, a man who walks the walk and not just talks the talk, a man who's not afraid to show how he feels and a man who can show his girl how much he wants her.

25. Turn off?

• Lies, cockiness, too much of arrogance, etc.

26. The reason you started blogging?

• I wanted to blog for a very long time but never got to sit myself down and start. Then I broke up with my ex and I wanted a place where I could write and share everything  that I want to say about my thoughts, experiences or random stuff with people from all over the world. It took me a while to start but I'm happy that I did. I don't have a lot of followers or comments on my posts but I'm happy every time I post something new. 

27. Fears?

• Rats, snakes and spiders. My friend once told me that she's afraid of death. I was once, but than I got diagnosed for the first time with my ovarian tumor (which was, thank God, benign) and it got me started to think about life and death. When I was diagnosed for the second time with ovarian tumor that's when I realized that I'm not afraid of death any more. 

28. Last thing that made you cry?

• Song "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney.

29. Last time you sad you loved someone?

• Last night to my mom.

30. Meaning behind your blog name?

• "Pure brain to mouth filter malfunction" is not so rear symptom that I have. Sometime it gets me in a whole lot of trouble but sometime it's a most precious gift that I have. 

31. Last book you read?

• "Interlude" by Anne Mercier (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24299613-interlude)

32. The book you're currently reading?

• I'm rereading "No place to run" by Maya Banks (a KGI series, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7828781-no-place-to-run?from_search=true&search_version=service)

As you can see from these last two answers I'm a sucker for a romance and I'm proud of it.

33. Last show you watched?

• Rizzoli & Isles S06 E11 

34. Last person you talked to?

• My friend Marko. He just went back to London where he works in (I forgot the name) company.

35. The relationship between you and the person you last talked?

• A long one. I know him since I was 15. We met when I was on holiday that summer and he was my first kiss. We were close friends for three years and than things happened and we lost all contacts for the next seven years. Now we are friends again ;)

36. Favorite food?

• Everything with chocolate.

37. Place you want to visit?

• World. You should see my map that I have bookmarked on my laptop. Red dots all over the place. My dad was bus driver for a company that provide transportation all over my country, so from very young age I traveled with him every where that he went and that's how I got bite by the travel bug. 

38. Last place you were?

• I didn't travel anywhere for a while not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't afford to. And that is something that I'm working on to change. But the last place that I went to was my mom's hometown in Bosnia and Herzegovina. 

39. Do you have a crush?

• Yes! 

40. Last time you kissed someone?

• Today. Who? It's between me and him.

41. Last time you were insulted?

• A week ago. Not so much insulted as disgusted by someone who once meant so much to me and now is proving to be the lowest form of human being. 

42. Favorite flavor of sweet?

• If we're talking about candies than strawberry and coca-cola sour gummy stripes. 

43. What instruments do you play?

• I'm antitalent for any instruments. 

44. Favorite piece of jewelry?

• It was my engagement ring. Now it's a pair of  withe gold earrings that I bought for myself with my very first paycheck when I was nineteen and a withe gold cross that I got from my grandma. 

45. Last sport you played?

• Handball a while back.

46. Last song you sang?

• "Afterlife" by Avenged Sevenfold (ahhh, M. Shadows) 

47. Favorite chat up line?

• I don't have one per se. But I do have one with my girlfriends; "What's up, doll?"

48. Have you ever used it?

• The one for my GFs, almost every time I talk with them.

49. Last time you hung with anyone?

• With my friend from elementary school, on Wednesday. I have a pics to prove it :)

50. Who should answer these questions next?

• Everyone who wants to. 

When is this evil going to end?

Just found out that a man from my country who was kidnapped by ISIS was executed. His name was Tomislav Salopek. He was a son, brother, husband, friend and father. He was doing his job and providing for his family. I don't know him but I have belief that that man didn't do harm to anybody so why would someone killed him.

I'm not into politics or religion but I'm sick and tired of hearing about this group of - I can't call them people because they are anything but human being or even an animal - something. This ISIS is group of deranged, brain washed and everything that is bad in this world. And I really think it's time to put once and for all the end to them and to anyone who put treats to innocent people; be it man, woman or child.

It really is time to stop this evil so that we as humans could live in peace and security that we can go to work without being afraid that some sicko who thinks that he has a right to play God would kidnap you and execute you and that put that kind of pictures on internet so that victims family and friends could see his doing.

Everyone has a right to his or her opinion, right to believe in his or hers God or whatever they call him or her, right to speak his or hers mind, right to love whoever they want to and right to be free. If you harm someone in any way or do something that is against the law than you should be punished for it. But no one has a right to be a judge and jury and execute your will just because you think it's your right, because it's NOT.

Tomislav Salopek didn't do harm to them. He was going to work so he can provide for his family and this group decided to play they game and demand thinks that they don't have right to demand.

I ask myself today what is next. He was kidnapped in Egypt and I'm wondering is the rest of the world safe from them. Am I going to exit my building one day and get kidnapped by some deranged lunatic who thinks that I'm guilty just because I'm not muslim.

I'm sad today because of Tomislav Salopek and anyone else who was killed by this group of psychos. I'm sad because they are kidnapping and killing innocent people every day and right now I don't see an end to this evil that is living and breathing with the rest of us. Is there an end for them?

Today, I'm praying for Tomislav and his family and friends. I'm praying for families and friends of the eight innocent people who were killed by this group before Tomislav. I'm praying for families and friends of people this group kidnapped but still keeping alive in God knows what conditions.

Today, I'm asking you to pray for them and to keep them in your thoughts and to never forget them because they deserve to never be forgotten.

Rest in peace, Tomislav.